Seven

Angie and I were discussing the passing of time today...she marked Cassie's birthday with the incredulous, "I can't believe she's seven!"

I came from the other direction.

You see, in addition to marking time with my daughter in the normal way, I also look at it differently. I mark time with Cassie as relative to five and a half years.

That's because I was five and a half when my own father died.

I remember vividly when Cassie was five a half. Every day since then is a day more that she has with me than I got with my father. What's worse is that I also look at that from my perspective - I couldn't imagine only having five and a half years with her.

I can't imagine not seeing her become so smart. Her intelligence makes me feel stupid some times. She reads very well, but more importantly she can hold a conversation. Talking to her is pleasurable as she is able to communicate what she is thinking and she is capable of logical thought and abstract thinking. I can't imagine not seeing that.

I can't imagine not seeing her grow and learn more. I can't imagine not seeing her love and hurt, and running to her daddy when she needs a hug.

I hope to get many more birthdays, but I think I may start enjoying more each of the days in between.

The regret that my father never got to know her, or me, will never go away...but at least I can ensure that Cassie and I don't suffer the same.

SL