Today Angie and I celebrate our sixth anniversary.
I just finished reading my blog entry from a year ago today, and it is amazing how God has been working in our lives this past year. Angie and I are more in love today than we were when we got married. We've both been reflecting on the people we were and the relationship we had back then, and the incredible healing we've been going through - a healing that, ultimately, has made our relationship that much better. But, truth be told, we both have a way to go. I'll focus on mine, since that is the only one I have control over anyway.
Control - interesting word choice above. I am coming to the conclusion that my desire for control over things is what gets me in trouble. Although it may be a virtue at work, my efforts to control where God should be in control are my problem. I try to control my environment at home (and end up "parenting Angie" or continuing to nag the kids). I try to control my finances, instead of giving freely to those less fortunate and trusting that God will provide. I try to control God, asking Him to bless what I want instead of asking Him how I can fit into what He wants.
As our church begins a capital campaign, I've been undergoing a spiritual journey that has nothing to do with money - it has to do with trust. If I said I trusted in Him for my salvation or for love, no one would question that. If I said I trust Him with my finances, my marriage, my life...I might get some raised eyebrows. It seems like a conceivable idea that the creator of the universe, the knower of ALL things, should be trusted in all worldly things and that ultimately, they all seem somewhat insignificant.
It's hard to give up control, and that's my struggle. It will ultimately be my greatest achievement.
Happy Anniversary, sweetheart. I'm glad I have you to do this walk with me.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" (Ephesians 3:20)