I Dare Ya!

Some marriages are good, some not so much. I would venture a guess, however, that most marriages could stand to improve. Whether it is an unresolved issue or some other nit that continues to bother, we all have areas in which we can get better.

My marriage is no different.

Angie and I have spent an interesting eight plus years together. Some times have been very difficult, some have been heavenly. Ultimately, we are always looking to make them better.

Enter the movie, "Fireproof". I have a link to it on the right side on this website. We watched it a couple of months ago and are soon to start a small group couples study on it. However, it wasn't until I took the dare that things started to change.

I started "The Love Dare" a couple of weeks ago. "The Love Dare" is made up of 40 daily dares that we are to do for our spouse. Some are as easy as being intentional about your greeting. Some are very difficult, like not saying a negative thing to our spouse for an entire day. "The Love Dare" is the premise behind the movie. A marriage that is falling apart due to neglect is saved because one of them learns unconditional love through the dare.

Although I would say that Angie and I aren't in danger of failing anytime soon, our marriage isn't all that it could be...and we both know it. So, I took it upon myself to take the dare. I kept it a secret until one of the dares instructs us to ask our spouse for things that bug them about us. Once I asked her, she knew I was doing it.

I recently completed day nine (I've redone some days due to failing on the first try, and some days I couldn't do that particular day for some reason or another, so nine daily dares have taken a couple of weeks - that's OK, though. Its more about the journey as a whole than each of the tasks). Things have already changed for us. Day seven, in particular, was a real eye-opener. We are instructed to make a list of the good things about our spouse and another list of the bad. The good list took about two minutes and took over the entire page. The bad list took about a half an hour, and I only could think of a handful of items. It wasn't what I expected. What I learned is that I dwell on the few negatives instead of the many positive. All of the dares have a learning opportunity if you let them.

I guess I have been letting them because Angie says she sees a difference. I know we've been closer to each other, kinder to each other, and have enjoyed each other's company more.

I think I'm changing in her eyes, as well...I feel like she's appreciating me more and that I've become easier to love. In fact, if what she posted on Facebook today is any indication, things are excellent.

She wrote, "[Angie] thinks she has an amazing husband! He loves me enough to be who God intended him to be!!! Love you, baby! ;)"

I can't think of kinder words from the most important person to me on the Earth. You want your spouse to say the same?

C'mon, I dare ya!

SL

Ultraviolence Friday

Angie and I don't usually watch stupid, shoot-em-up movies, but this weekend we watched two. Our Blockbuster queue has been backing up a little bit and we had a couple of movies sitting on top of the TV, so we decided to grab one and throw it in.

I let her choose. I usually let her choose just so I don't have to take responsibility for a movie if it sucks. In fact, it usually works out that when she picks a movie, it blows, and I let her know that her choice did, as well. When I pick a movie, we usually like it. There are two things about that arrangement of which you need to be aware. 1) It's a losing proposition for her, since I only let her choose when both movies to pick from are going to blow. 2) Conversely, I will choose the movie when I have a guaranteed winner. The only exception to this was "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow", very easily the worst movie I have ever seen half of.

So, she plugged her choice into the DVD player and I asked what she put it...she said, "it's a surprise" and away we went.

She selected, "Shoot 'Em Up" with Clive Owen. Basically, a former champion marksmen, turned military dude intervenes when a bunch of thugs try to kill a pregnant woman. She ends up giving birth, then getting shot between the eyes. Owen, the unwitting hero takes the baby and protects it while more thugs try to kill it (and him). The movie has a ton of shooting and is way over the top. It has a very awesome skydiving shootout, and several other really cool scenes, but we couldn't get past how ridiculous the movie was. That, and the fact that we were really enjoying it. It certainly wasn't a movie that I expected Angie to like, but when the final credits rolled, we looked at each other and said - "at least it was really entertaining." What more can you ask from any film.

By now it was getting late, but the adrenalin surge from the movie had woken us up, so we weren't tired. I decided to throw the other movie in. Kevin Bacon and Kelly Preston in "Death Sentence". The description mentioned something about Dirty Harry, so we didn't have very high expectations.

Again, the movie was really violent, very stupid, and not nearly as entertaining as the previous flick. Although, for two 40-year-olds, staying awake till 1am means that the movie was at least OK. We watched the whole, unbelievable story as Kevin Bacon preceded to hunt down and kill the bad ass gang of thugs that killed his son. In doing so, he loses his own life and that of his wife.

The moral? I have no clue, other than if you too want to be a bad ass, shave your head.

SL

Cry Freedom

Some movies touch the soul...that's probably why I love to watch them. Yeah, I love shoot 'em ups and vampire movies more than anyone I know, but sometimes I want to watch a movie that makes me feel like a better person for having invested my time.

A couple of weeks ago, Angie and I watched Amazing Grace. I blogged about it at the time, and I remember being touched by the description of the conditions aboard the slave ship. I wanted to know more, and I realized I never saw the movie Amistad, so I put in into my queue and put it to the top of the heap.

Angie and I watched it last night and I don't know if I will ever forget the experience. In fact, I am tearing up as I type this post. The brutality and the inhumanity on the ship cannot be imagined. The movie recounts how the crew threw 50 people overboard because they realized they did not have enough rations. As you can imagine, Steven Spielberg portrays the brutality as realistically as possible and it is disturbing. The story is about the fate of the 44 surviving Africans aboard the ship who revolt against their captors.

The brutality is countered by the humanity shown by the lawyer and by John Quincy Adams who end up representing the Africans in court and ultimately in the US Supreme Court.

The movie is something special. I recommend watching it to see the worst, and best, of humanity.

SL

How Sweet The Sound

Angie and I watched Amazing Grace last night. It is the story of William Wilberforce who, as a member of parliament in the early 1800's, fought for the abolition of slavery in Britain.

The movie is fantastic. It is the story of a principled man who desires to change the world, who fights against the popular idea, who is attached as treasonous, who overcomes an illness and ends up persevering. The story is both uplifting in its message as much as it is condemning of the practice of slavery.

Just hearing that a ship which originally leaving Africa with 600 men, women and children would land in the New World with 200 surviving distresses me. I cannot fathom the brutality and the inhumanity. Yet, I wonder if I would have had the same courage as Wilberforce.

In fact, I don't have to wonder if I have the courage - I can look to my actions today to see if I am willing to stand up to popular culture for what I believe to be right. Unfortunately, I find myself lacking and it's convicting. We've been going through a message series at church that also has been addressing this issue. It's been called, "Jesus For President" and the main message is that it doesn't matter if we vote Republican or Democratic, if we are truly following the Kingdom of God with Jesus as our leader. A takeaway from the series is, "We vote every day with our actions." To paraphrase - do others see the way I live, notice that it is different and special, and know that I live my life for God?

Unfortunately, I don't think I can honestly answer this in the affirmative. Thank Him for His amazing grace!

SL

Not So Mighty Movie

We were very much looking forward to watching "A Mighty Heart". We had heard good things about it and we were really interested in the story....unfortunately, the movie is as boring as can be.

The story is about the wife of Daniel Pearl, a journalist for the Wall Street Journal who is kidnapped in Karachi, Pakistan post 9/11. You'll probably remember, his kidnapping and subsequent beheading were one of the several that had been posted on the Internet. I confess that I saw the video, and I will never forget the inhumanity, the brutal-ness, the evil and depravity, the disgust that I felt. I remember crying after watching it, wishing I hadn't.

With that, I expected to movie to be the riveting story of what had happened. Instead, the movie played like watching a group of people eating dinner at the dining table. At some point in the movie, the three of us (Angie, her mom, or myself) had fallen asleep. I fell asleep early, Angie's mom in the middle, and Angie at the end. If our slumber is any indication, the movie just wasn't compelling.

Too bad, because the story certainly was...

SL

All Shook Up

I know that when Angie isn't interested in a movie I want to watch (which often involves Vampires, Zombies, or other monsters), I watch it when she's not around. Cloverfield was just such a movie the other day. Dylan saw it in theaters and said that it stunk - he hated the handheld camera thing. I think that the movie was made without much use of a script in an attempt to make it as realistic as possible, since it is filmed from the point of view of a handheld video camera from the participants. If you've seen The Blair Witch Project, you know what I'm talking about.

The result? It is OUTSTANDING! The movie is creepy, scary and really entertaining. You won't see Academy Award acting and you'll need to get past the fact that there are about 100 times in the movie where any rational person would have left the video camera behind, but other than that, the movie is very compelling. The monster is believable, the action is awesome, and you couldn't have a better backdrop than the island of Manhattan. The beginning attack scene with the collapse of the Woolworth Building is reminiscent of the September 11th attacks. The destruction of the Brooklyn Bridge is amazing, the bombing of the monster is very cool, and the monster is shown in much more detail than I would have expected.

I could see why the camera shake could be annoying, particularly on the big screen, but at home it was fine. Really creative, and well done. If you are into that kind of flick, you'll very much like it.

Now, what is up with the name, Cloverfield?

SL

Who's War is it Anyway?

It is often said that those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. It's hard to watch "Charlie Wilson's War" and not think that we could very easily make the same mistake in Iraq.

I want our boys to come home, but I don't want to leave the same power vacuum that we left in Afghanistan after we helped the Afghan Mujahideen defeat the Soviets. "Charlie Wilson's War" is the amazing story of Charlie Wilson (played by Tom Hanks) who was a Representative from Texas who, almost single-handedly, helped fund our backing of the Afghan freedom fighters who were fighting against the Soviet Union at the end of the cold war.

It's one of those movies that doesn't hide all of the personal weaknesses and personality flaws of the main character, yet you like him anyway. In fact, you like him because he is flawed and because of his principals. Yes, he may take drugs, drink to much, cavort with any woman he can, but he is also moved by the injured children and the poor women of Afghanistan. You have to love a man like that. Because he acts with passion - both good and bad.

Angie and I enjoyed this movie a great deal. We commented at the end that two hours after starting the movie, we were smarter for watching it.

I just hope that we don't abandon Iraq, and "let the crazies take over" as we did in Afghanistan. If you aren't aware, and the movie touches upon it briefly, it is likely that our abandonment of Afghanistan after the withdrawal of the Soviet army is how the Taliban took power and how the country became a training ground and planning location for al-Qaida.

At the end of the movie, after we spent billions helping the Afghans fight the Soviets, Wilson tries to get a measly one million dollars to build schools. He is told, "no one gives a shit about schools". Too bad we were so short sighted.

Let's hope we learn from that history.

SL

At Least It Was Short

Last night, Angie and I watched "Next" starring Nicolas Cage as a Vegas magician who can see two minutes into his future. I wish I could see 90 minutes into mine, so I could have avoided wasting my time with this movie. Next...

SL

Stone Cold Movie Review

This will begin a new post category - movies. Angie and I love to watch movies, although she prefers the theater, and I prefer home (see my post about the theaters). Interestingly enough, we were supposed to have a date night on Saturday evening and I asked Angie if she wanted to go to the movies. She told me that she won't go on weekend evenings anymore. I guess I'm rubbing off on her. But, that's ok...since school isn't in session, we typically watch a lot of movies at home after the kids go to bed. It's our opportunity to get to the backlog in our Blockbuster queue.

I was up late the other evening watching a movie. I was messing around with my iPod at the same time, and happened to be online because of it. A family member IM'ed me and asked what I was doing. When I explained, she asked what movie. I told her, and she said she hadn't heard of it. In fact, as I thought about it, if it hadn't been in my queue (and thus in my DVD player) I wouldn't have heard of it. I must have seen a commercial and added into the queue without much thought. And, since our queue is so backlogged, I must have added it a long time ago.

Then, when looking at the movie description (upon it's arrival in my mailbox), I couldn't imagine why I added it in the queue. It was full of no-names, save one - Stone Cold Steve Austin. The professional wrestler/beer aficionado, who is NOT known for his nearly winning the Oscar for best actor. In fact, I feared that if his acting is as poor as his wrestling/acting, we would be in for a late night.

However, as I got into "The Condemned" I started enjoying it. It clearly earns its R-rating for language and violence, but the story is complex, even if the acting is not. It's about an Internet guy who "collects" 10 of the baddest dudes and dudettes on the planet (all condemned to execution and living on death row in prisons around the world) and drops them on an island for the most extreme reality show of all time - a fight to the death with the last one alive getting freed and gaining some cash. It's a social commentary about the viewers of such a program (all of whom paid $50 to subscribe to the web broadcast). I admit that I would likely be one of those subscribers, since I love Survivor, Amazing Race and Hell's Kitchen. It's got good action and a compelling story.

Best of all, Mr. Austin isn't asked to speak very much.

SL