Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I Dare Ya!

Some marriages are good, some not so much. I would venture a guess, however, that most marriages could stand to improve. Whether it is an unresolved issue or some other nit that continues to bother, we all have areas in which we can get better.

My marriage is no different.

Angie and I have spent an interesting eight plus years together. Some times have been very difficult, some have been heavenly. Ultimately, we are always looking to make them better.

Enter the movie, "Fireproof". I have a link to it on the right side on this website. We watched it a couple of months ago and are soon to start a small group couples study on it. However, it wasn't until I took the dare that things started to change.

I started "The Love Dare" a couple of weeks ago. "The Love Dare" is made up of 40 daily dares that we are to do for our spouse. Some are as easy as being intentional about your greeting. Some are very difficult, like not saying a negative thing to our spouse for an entire day. "The Love Dare" is the premise behind the movie. A marriage that is falling apart due to neglect is saved because one of them learns unconditional love through the dare.

Although I would say that Angie and I aren't in danger of failing anytime soon, our marriage isn't all that it could be...and we both know it. So, I took it upon myself to take the dare. I kept it a secret until one of the dares instructs us to ask our spouse for things that bug them about us. Once I asked her, she knew I was doing it.

I recently completed day nine (I've redone some days due to failing on the first try, and some days I couldn't do that particular day for some reason or another, so nine daily dares have taken a couple of weeks - that's OK, though. Its more about the journey as a whole than each of the tasks). Things have already changed for us. Day seven, in particular, was a real eye-opener. We are instructed to make a list of the good things about our spouse and another list of the bad. The good list took about two minutes and took over the entire page. The bad list took about a half an hour, and I only could think of a handful of items. It wasn't what I expected. What I learned is that I dwell on the few negatives instead of the many positive. All of the dares have a learning opportunity if you let them.

I guess I have been letting them because Angie says she sees a difference. I know we've been closer to each other, kinder to each other, and have enjoyed each other's company more.

I think I'm changing in her eyes, as well...I feel like she's appreciating me more and that I've become easier to love. In fact, if what she posted on Facebook today is any indication, things are excellent.

She wrote, "[Angie] thinks she has an amazing husband! He loves me enough to be who God intended him to be!!! Love you, baby! ;)"

I can't think of kinder words from the most important person to me on the Earth. You want your spouse to say the same?

C'mon, I dare ya!


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