Mistaken Identity

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned the yahoos at the IRS and thanked God that those same yahoos don't work for the Transportation Security Administration (TSA). The TSA are the good people that keep us safe in the air (hopefully).

Based on my experience going to Las Vegas this week, I have some serious concerns if this is indeed true.


Our trip began like any other business trip for me, except that Angie was accompanying me. We got to the airport early and decided to get some breakfast at a restaurant. This took a little longer than we had expected, so by the time we got to our gate, the plane was almost fully boarded. In fact, they were calling my name for final boarding. Angie and I gave the agent our boarding passes and then things got weird.

The agent said that there was someone already in my seat, 18F. The sorted some stuff out on the computer and told me to tell the woman in my seat to move to 19E. I knew that we'd be moving that person from an exit row window to a normal (non-legroom) middle seat so I balked...and told the agent that 'that was her job'. She assented and boarded in front of us.


So, we get to the row and the lady is a little upset at having to move, until we looked at her boarding pass. She has a boarding pass WITH MY NAME ON IT!!! Basically, when she checked in, she got my boarding pass from the ticket agent. So, mistakes happen, I can understand that. Additionally, I rarely look at my tickets when I get them, so I can completely understand her not checking. But, what I am having a problem with is how she got through security, particularly that TSA agent with the ultraviolet light flashlight and highlighter pen who checks your ID, your boarding pass, and marks the pass to show that things are good to go.


Hers had been marked up....basically, the TSA agent fell asleep, didn't verify the names and allowed her to pass.


The more I think about that, the more I get pissed off. Is the agent at the x-ray machine making the same mistakes? Have they become so comfortable that diligence isn't maintained?


More importantly, have we? Has terrorism once again become something that happens elsewhere to others? I guarantee there are still those who hate our way of life and are motivated to cause fear and terror. I'm sure that our president bowing to foreign leaders is interpreted as a sign of weakness by those same people - instead of the conciliatory tone that is presumably intended.


I know this is probably a better post for a September 11 anniversary, but any day is a good day to be reminded not to forget.


SL

Insane Footage

This is footage from the roof collapse at Dallas Cowboys special teams practice. The storm is raging pretty good outside - I hope the same doesn't happen to my roof and pray for those injured.



SL

Not Quite to Paris

When I was younger, I wasn't the type to commit to things. I didn't do anything for the long haul. Not sure if this was a personality flaw, or just a quirk, but I typically never completed the things I started. I'd do something for a while and give it up for another activity. Even before high school ended I no longer played sports, having opted out for employment.


I'm sure you why I thought of this, other than I was thinking about my marriage. Today's probably a good day to do this, as Angie and I celebrate our eighth anniversary today. It's amazing to think that we've been together this long. I know eight years pales in comparison to many of your marriages, and that is fantastic. I'm glad that God has blessed your marriage and I pray that he continues to do so, but keeping the above in mind, eight years seems implausible.


At least as far as the old me goes. The new one, not so much. I grew out of that "never completing anything" stage. Angie might argue this point if she looks around that house at all the incomplete 'honey-do' items, but I am talking about the bigger items.


Work items get completed...not that there was really ever a problem here. I am a self-started and understand what work provides for my family and I.

School will get completed. I may be on the 20 year plan, but I will earn my degree. In fact, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I expect to complete my last two classes by Christmas 2010. Eve though I plan on getting my MBA, I really see the undergraduate degree as the completion of my long elusive goal.

Finally, my marriage. Angie and I have our ups and downs, and sometimes our downs are pretty down, but we both enjoy the safety of our relationship - as we both have committed that divorce is not an option. We came to this decision several years ago during a particularly down period. We came to it after we both recognized that we are both selfish, broken people in a union sanctified by God. Because of this we also came to understand that we needed to honor our union and work through any issues that we might have. This had a profound impact on our marriage. Basically, we know that we can be honest which each other in safety and that we know the other isn't going to bail at the first sign of another down period.

Fortunately, we've grown in other meaningful ways, as well. We've come to understand that marriage isn't about what we can get out of it, but about what we can put in.

That alone has made things so much better. You see, it's freed us to be everything that we are meant to be to each other. The complement of each other - one half of one.

Now, if I can just see through my commitment to get the landscaping done.

Happy Anniversary, baby. The Paris hotel in Las Vegas this year, and Paris, France by number 10...

Previous anniversary posts:

2008, 2007, and 2006

SL

Taxing Situation

I knew the letter wasn't going to be good before I opened it.

Sort of like when you were waiting for that college acceptance letter. A thin envelope was bad news. In today's case, it was from the IRS and the letter was fat.

I opened it. According to some yahoo in our federal government, I owe several thousand dollars from 2007 Federal income tax. Basically, someone needs a new hammer and they want me to pay for it.

My first reaction was one of fear. Holy crap, my tax guy messed up. I can't afford to pay this. Does he guarantee his work? What are we going to do?

However, as this matter has stewed a little, my fear has turned to anger. There are interest charges of 131, 92, 92 and 76 days. There are no penalities, but a bunch of warnings in the letter that they are next if I don't resolve this quickly. Isn't there a statute of limitations for tax refunds? And, what the hell are they picking on me for? I pay my taxes, I don't go out of my way to find bullshit exemptions, I work hard, I'm not asking for a handout or a bailout, I support my local church and I'm not defaulting on my mortgage or my credit card debt - what gives?

I finally read through the documentation closely. Admittedly, I don't understand half of it. However, it seems as though the government is stating that I didn't prove my charitible contributions for the year. When they reduce my contributions, my tax burden goes up. The letter states, "

Since you did not establish that the amounts shown were (a) contributions, and (b) were paid, the amounts are not deductible.

Ok - I think I know what they are saying. So, since I am the type to save every receipt since the inception of the cash register, I go into my files and voila - I find my 2007 return and all supporting material. I have the receipt from church stating that my contributions were, in fact, the very amount that the IRS is questioning.

So, tomorrow, I'll call my tax guy. I'll discuss it with him and we'll appeal their adjustment. And, with luck, we'll tell the IRS where to go. Who says you can't take on city hall?

I'm just thankful that the yahoo who reviewed my return doesn't work for something important, like the TSA.

SL

Excellence Expected

A leader that I work with recently said in a meeting that she expects excellence when she deals with the services organizations of companies that she patronizes. In her opinion, it stemmed from the fact that she works and leads a services organization. Although I don't lead one, I completely agree with her. Because of our technical support background, we are uniquely in tune with service, when it is done well and when it is lacking.

I've blogged numerous times about those "lacking experiences". Whether the company was American Airlines, Emerson, or Comcast - I have not pulled my punches when I thought their service was crap.

I hope that I haven't been reluctant when I've seen an organization go beyond...

Note, that I didn't say do it well. I believe that every organization must do it well, as a minimum. What I mean is when an organization goes above and beyond. When excellence of performance is systemic and is celebrated. I'm talking about when a company, organization or group have it in their DNA to be the best.

I believe I work for a company that does this. I believe that mediocrity is frowned upon and that excellence is expected. If I didn't feel like the organization didn't celebrate the "job well done" I wouldn't work there. However, that isn't the purpose of this post. Rather, I'd like to celebrate another found example of excellence expected - at least in services.

The Texas Rangers baseball club seems to have it right. Unfortunately, I don't mean on the field (although, with some pitching, they might be excellent). Additionally, I am not talking about the concession. Irrespective of the ridiculous prices, I don't believe there is any excellence in the concession. The soft drink taps weren't working, the food is mediocre, and - sorry, I can't get past it, the prices are larceny.

However, there were of a group of people there that understood that excellence is an attitude...and even a day after the game, I still remember how helpful and friendly they were - and ultimately - their presence is what I still hold from the game. I don't know what you call them, but they were the individuals that were around the stadium who asked if we needed anything. Some held signs that said, "How Can I Help You?" Some just gave off the vibe that said, "I don't mind helping you, so please ask" instead of the "I work for minimum wage, so don't bother me....besides, I won't know anyway". The "ushers/assistants/concierge" people helped direct us to the girl scout parade, to the best viewing for pictures, to the bus between parking and the stadium, to a bathroom, etc." They also were turned away several times because we didn't need anything.

Most importantly, they provided a sense that the Ranger's organization really appreciated our dollars being spent at the ball park. To me, that's the greatest sentiment any company can convey to its customers.

Now, if they could do something about those $3.75 hot dogs - that would be excellent.

SL

Play Ball

About this time two years ago, I posted about a Springtime ritual...Opening day for Major League Baseball.

I love baseball. I love everything about it. I truly think it is the perfect game. The dimensions have never changed....there is something special about the baseball field (diamond) where there is 90 feet between bases or 60 feet 6 inches from the pitching rubber to home plate. Four balls for a walk or three strikes for an out seems to be the perfect ratio....Ultimately, the fact that there is no clock, and that the game isn't over, "'till the fat lady sings" is part of its perfection.

I understand that the game has been marred by the widespread cheating that occurred during the "steroid era". I agree that this has tarnished much of the history of baseball during this time. This is unfortunate because history is part of what makes baseball so special - in fact, it may be history which fuels my passion for the game. Previous to this era, you could realistically compare achievements of old with achievements of new. My heart holds a special place for the debate as to who was the greatest <<>>. The great thing about the debate is that you could compare two players from different eras because their was a continuity in the numbers. AND, that there really is no right or wrong.

I really enjoy the strategy of baseball, as well. Hit and run, sacrifice bunt, moving the runners, taking an extra base, hitting the cutoff, etc. It's the small things that cumulatively result in wins for a team over the marathon that is the Major League Baseball season of 162 games.

Perhaps my love for the game ultimately stems from the fact that it is played in summer, and that it starts during a season of renewal. Springtime is a period where everything begins anew...the flowers, wildlife, and my chosen team's chance of winning the pennant.

Today is opening day, so Let's Go Mets!

SL

Silly Monkey

I don't remember how she got the nickname, but it has stuck. The amazing thing to me is that she doesn't mind. Even though every little thing that I do that garners attention embarrasses her, I can scream out "MONKEY!!!!" to her and she doesn't mind.

The monkey I am referring to is Marissa - my stepdaughter who turned thirteen today.

I told each of the kids that I was going to post specifically about them on their birthdays, so here is Marissa's.

Marissa is at that weird age...not quite a young woman, but no longer a little girl. What is so great about Marissa is that when she isn't worried about what others are thinking - she is amazingly fun. She can laugh and carry on with the best of them...and she has a great sense of humor, which adds to the fun.

She is very athletic, too - probably the most naturally gifted of all the kids. Although she doesn't cheer or tumble anymore, she was amazing. She easily could have been a gymnast. She plays volleyball now, and is naturally good. She would be excellent at basketball, too, if she liked to play.

Ultimately, however, the best way to evaluate how special Marissa is is to look that the company keeps. She has excellent friends, which tells me that she is excellent in return. I know that because I see glimpses of it when she isn't being moody or selfish. She has a wonderful heart and it is reflected in the friends with which she surrounds herself.

As she matures, I hope and pray that her awesome heart continues to shine and that she continues to be happy in all that she does.

Happy Birthday, Marissa. I love you.

SL

The Amazing Justini

He’s back performing his greatest trick…reappearing.

Last night, Angie and the kids helped move Justin back home. This is the fourth time he is returning, but unlike the previous three, this one is with my blessing.

He’s a different young man now that he’s been away from home for a year - a year in which he completely took care of himself. He paid rent for his small, but nice, apartment near Lake Ray Hubbard. He’s paid his car payment and insurance during this time. In fact, other than some tuition help, he’s taken care of all of his needs and wants for the last year. In order to do this, he’s worked his butt off. He commonly works 50+ hours at Pizza Hut, managing, driving, cooking, and generally doing whatever needs to be done.

The experience has changed him, too.

The change in him has been dramatic. He’s more responsible. He’s not afraid of hard work. Ultimately, he’s come to understand that sometimes we need to forgo the things we want because of the things we need. At the end of the day, that’s one of my definitions of maturity. Personally, I think he’s come to understand that his mom and I aren’t the monsters he thought we were when he left twelve months ago.

This is really the reason why we entertained him when he said he was thinking of coming back. Our relationships have improved during his time away…He is more pleasant to his mom and I, and we have really come to enjoy his company because of it. He’s funny, amazingly musically talented, and smart. The kids adore him, too.

The plain truth is that we are proud of what he is becoming…

And, if we can help him become whatever that is, we will. His objective is to come home so he can reduce his expenses. By doing this, he can work less and go to school more. This will allow us to add him back to our medical insurance. While he’s here, he will pay a small rent and help out around the house (he agreed to own the lawns as part of his rent). We’ll help him get his community college done as his long-term goal is to get into the music program at UNT.

I’m just proud he has a goal.

That’s the best trick he’s performed yet.

SL

To the Moon, Alice

Just yesterday I was talking to Dylan about it. Our conversation was about our favorite movies (Saving Private Ryan) which led to a conversation about Tom Hanks, which in turn turned to a conversation about the movie Apollo 13. By the time we were done, I had talked about the moon missions and how I wished I was old enough to have watched and remembered. I expanded on how I used to cut class to see shuttle launches and landings.

I've always been in love with space exploration and still try to see launches, missions and landings on nasa.tv whenever I can. Perhaps that has fed my love of Star Trek and Star Wars, or maybe it is the other way around.

Space travel, to me, represents one of the great human achievements. When I look up into the night sky, I can't imagine that we [the collective humanity 'we'] actually walked on the moon. I just find that astounding that we launched a spaceship, landed it on a heavenly body, launched it off that body and returned it safely to earth. It is an awe inspiring achievement and one that I have personally yearned for our country to repeat in my lifetime.

Now, God willing, it seems that I may actually get my wish. Several years ago, President Bush announced an aggressive plan to put man back on the moon, and eventually Mars. I believe he was derided for that announcement, but I celebrated it. Apparently, so did NASA. They've been making progress to that end with their Orion delivery vehicle.

In fact, by as soon as 2015, we'll have vehicles launching for an eventual return to the moon by 2020. Assuming funding remains, we could realistically be on Mars by 2050 [my guess]. I would be 81-years old-by then.

Statistically speaking, the chance that I would be alive to see that is good.

And what a sight that would be...

SL

Great Debaters

My wife has a good heart. She cares for others in a way I do not. She tends to err on the side of those in a weaker or subservient position. Me? I tend to side with those in authority. Not always, but usually – unless of course, we are talking about Congress…then, neither of us is a real supporter.

That being said, we often debate things that are going on in the news. The current debate is whether or not the police officer in the Ryan Moats traffic stop incident acted improperly..

At first, from the short clips I saw of the video, I was completely on the side of the officer, PO Robert Powell. I understand that cops are necessarily cautious during traffic stops. I also understand that four cops were just killed in Oakland, CA. So, I saw a cop handling a traffic stop, carefully, forcefully and within the law. Yes, HE was being a jerk, but he had people running from the car, the driver pleading with him, and he was trying to control the situation. The truth is that the driver ran a red light and then did not immediately pull over. I’m sure if every police officer had a dollar for every sob story they hear during a traffic stop, they would all be millionaires. I have no problem with him ordering passengers back in the car and threatening towing and other punishments for not following directions.

I would imagine that being a police officer is a hard job – not one that I would like to have, that is for sure (although carrying a weapon seems somewhat enticing) They have to protect themselves, control situations AND treat the people with which they interact with respect. That is sometimes very hard to do – particularly for a 25-year old man.

Ultimately however, especially as the whole video has become available, it would also seem that the officer did not exercise common sense after the situation was clear as to what was happening. Once it became clear that there was no threat to the officer, he should have been more understanding. He could have let them go at that point. I give credit to the driver for listening to the police officer and following directions.

Angie asked me what I would do if it were her in the hospital. (I did NOT take the obvious opportunity for a joke), but instead informed her that I would have sat there, with my hands on the wheel (so as to not frighten the officer) and plead mercy on him to let me go see my wife – the whole time knowing that he is well within his power to detain me while he writes me a ticket. However, I was once taught that the best way to get out of a ticket is to do nothing that could frighten the cop – probably why I only get warnings and usually do not get cited when I get pulled over.

I don’t know if that police officer is going to lose his job, or not. He may, and that is the price that public servants pay for making mistakes. For 90 seconds he did the right thing. But for the 11 and a half minutes he made serious mistakes he may pay with his job…However, I don’t believe this case is as cut and dry as the media is making it out to be.

Or, Angie, for that matter…but when it comes to issues like this, I’ve learned that she is usually more right than wrong, so I listen to her carefully.

SL

Coupon Craziness

Let me start by saying that we are incredibly blessed. I have a good paying job that does not involve digging ditches or other manual labor. Angie and I have sacrificed little even when we decided that she would stay home to be a full-time homemaker. Even as the economy tanks and many lose their jobs, mine seems to be relatively secure. We have much to be thankful for...

Over time, Angie and I have come to learn that our finances are about enabling us to do things that are important to us. To give the kids advantages and experiences, to share with friends and family, to help support causes in which we believe are just some examples. However, what we never figured is that we could actually CONTROL our money instead of having it control us.

We've gone through a couple of different classes with church. I fully understand that the church has a vested interest in our finances. If we were able to live in a way that honors God, there would be more for supporting the church. I'm not naive enough to miss the point that this benefits the church as well as benefits us. However, the benefits to our family have been astounding. The most drastic of which just happens to be our connection to our money...it's been an eye opening and freeing journey.

However, the one thing that Angie and I have been unable to do is live completely within our means. We've built up a huge debt load three times and each time have worked to eliminate it (we are currently in our third reduction right now). We built a budget last year, but even on paper we were negative. We just couldn't get to a balanced monthly budget. It's almost like we knew we'd live negative and use a bonus or an income tax refund to get out of the hole we built.

A couple of weeks ago, this changed. I blogged about the Financial Learning Experience hosted by Joe Sangle. It was a life changing three hours. We learned one simple truth:

Income - Outgo = Exactly Zero (EZ)

To do this not only did we need to change our habits, we needed to change our plan. We immediately moved to a two week budget to match my pay checks. We used Joe's budget planner to get this done. It reduced the number of categories we had to budget for from about 40 to 10. It helped us spend the money on paper before we spent it for real.

In order to get a balanced budget, we needed to change some things. An alteration to the W4 resulted in more cash coming in. We changed our auto insurance carrier and saved $400 per year. We reduced our health insurance withholdings, but must go to plan doctors or pay a premium.

And, we've started cutting coupons.

I've never been a real fan of the coupon thing. It always seemed kinda cheesy to work to get things for reduced prices. A couple of beliefs caused this attitude; 1) I always thought there was value in paying. For example, the more you pay, the more quality you get. This is one of the reasons that I go to the dealer for routine maintenance on may car. And, 2) I also valued my time as being more valuable than any possible amount saved.

That's changed. Angie and I sit and do the coupons before we purchase things now...this includes before we go out to eat. In fact, with the economy so tight, there are deals to be found everywhere. Save $2 on a burger. Save on car repairs. Get a free Dr. Pepper. If you just take the time, the savings can be considerable. Angie and I have saved over $70 in a little more than two weeks. If we save even $50 between paychecks, that's $1,300 per year. That may not be a huge amount in the grand scheme of things but every penny counts.

Especially when you are looking for financial freedom.

SL

The ABC's of the WBC

I have to admit it - I am totally digging the World Baseball Classic. Ultimately, it is just a competitive version of spring training, but there is something appealing to seeing Derek Jeter next to David Wright on the same team.

It seems as though all of the competitors are really into it, as well. As I watch the US team pull away from the team from Venezuela, I see them taking extra bases, moving over runners, and all the other "little things" that make baseball such a wonderful game.

Typically, you only see that kind of play in the post season, but seeing it in March is very cool, and it is whetting my appetite for the start of the MLB season in April.

I understand that the timing of the tournament is not perfect as players are really only starting to get into game shape as they develop their timing. However, I also understand that there is no perfect time. If they waited until after the regular season, it would be anticlimactic. Holding the WBC during the all star break doesn't make any sense either, as it would diminish the midsummer classic that is the all star game.

I think the only way to really accept the WBC is to understand what it is about. It's about marketing and spreading baseball to countries that do not have a real big baseball heritage. For example, in this year's tourney is South Africa, Italy and the Netherlands. These teams aren't expected to go very far, but it is fun to watch them play. The power houses like the US and teams from the Caribbean are all made up of current and former big leaguers. Not so much the other teams.

But, in the end, it isn't about the players and where they come from. It is about the competition and the pure play of what I believe is the PERFECT game. It's about playing for pride the same way you see exceedingly wealthy players perform in the Olympics (baseball is no longer an Olympic sport, so the WBC is meant to replace that forum).

Ultimately, what I find most appealing is that you are watching some of the best in the world play - play for pride - their own and that for which they have in their country. And steroids or multimillion dollar contracts are not part of the discussion. That will return in a couple of weeks and then we can watch multimillionaire jerks just being Manny.

In the end, I'll be there, soaking it all in. I love this game.

SL

A (Wii) Fit With Technology

I just finished reading an article about a company who makes heart sensors to work wirelessly with the iPhone to track heart rate during workouts. Their apps allow you to track workouts and workout intensity. It's amazing how technology and biology continue to meld. Interestingly enough, I started working out this week in my living room following my Mii on the TV. Angie and I bought Wii Fitness based on the numerous endorsements we received from family and friends. We've been playing with it all weekend and today Angie and I figured we might as well step up our play.

I've done 30+ minute sessions of yoga, strength exercises and aerobics. Surprisingly, I was sweating pretty good at the end of the workouts. The yoga is surprisingly hard. I've typically stayed away from yoga because, 1) it looks doofy and 2) I'm not a subscriber of the spiritual aspect. However, I have been real surprised how difficult it is. I did Warrior, Sun Salutation, and tried Tree. My legs were burning. I loved it and can't wait to get better at it and more flexible because of it.

I did upper body, abdominal, and leg strength training. Pushups, jackknives, and lunges. Even though the workouts only took a couple of minutes each I could feel the burn. I'm feeling pretty spent right now.

Lastly, I ended with a couple of balance games (for fun) and with a run. Running in place with my Mii keeping up with a pace coach was a lot tougher than I thought it would be. Combined with the scores that you receive for each event, there is a competitive aspect that I find appealing, as well.

Ultimately, I don't know if you'd call the workouts we are getting as real strenuous. I do know, however, that it is getting us of the couch, getting us to move our bodies, get our heart rates up and getting a good sweat on. Perhaps this will be a good reintroduction to exercise and perhaps an improvement in the quality and length of our lives.

Either way, it is pretty fun.

SL

Sabotaging Success

Why do we do it? Why do we take actions that are in direct opposition to the things we want to accomplish?

Angie and I have been talking about that lately. It has come up in response to some of our own sabotaging and to others around us.

Here is an example of what I'm talking about. Recently, I posted about how Angie and I attended a Financial workshop, and coming out of that workshop, we decided on a course of action culminating in a budget. We decided, together, that we were going to get out of debt, save up to purchase her next vehicle in cash, go on vacation (paying with cash), and then start investing regularly. That budget started with the paycheck I received on Friday.

By Friday afternoon we were off plan. I mean it literally took a couple of hours and we were done. My purchase of some Wii equipment for the house was all it took.

Looking at my inability to stay on a diet would be another great example. Why is it I can rationalize the need to lose weight. I truly understand to the core of my (too large) being that I need to lose weight. My weight keeps me from enjoying time with the kids the way I should be, it keeps me from enjoying time with Angie the way I should be, and ultimately keeps me from doing some of the things I want to do - yet, I seem powerless to stop sabotaging the plan that I know would change things.

Since the confessions are flowing, I'll give one last example. Angie has complained about how I talk to her for years. And, for years, I've tried to address it. Although things are a little better in that not all of my reactions to negative things are harsh, they are still too harsh too often. I know this and yet have been mostly unable to change. Again, I am sabotaging the most important relationship I have on this earth.

So, the fundamental question I must ask myself is why. I know I'm not alone. Angie does it. The kids do it. Our friends do it. Our families do it. There are stories of people sabotaging success all around us, both in the news and within our circles of friends and family. Are we so flawed that we cannot help it? Are we so broken that we cannot abide by happiness? I don't believe either of these are true, but they sure seem so.

I think the answer lies in the fact that we do everything for a reason. A good bud of mine always asks me "what's the payoff?" By this, he is asking me why I did something. He explains that we do everything for a reason and often the reason we do things that we shouldn't are for a perceived payoff, or to put it plainly, because there is an expectation that we'll get something in return for doing it. Why over eat? Because the comfort value in food in the short-term is more desirable than losing weight in the long-term. Why purchase outside of plan? Because the return of good grace from the kids (short-term) is more important than getting out of debt (long-term).

Although the above analysis seems to make sense, it doesn't address the other main question - how to change the behavior. For this, I don't have the answers. If I did, I'd be at my ideal weight, out of debt, and have the perfect relationship - among other things. I do know, however, that these issues are mine. It's too easy to blame OTHERS for this...I don't know how many times I've said, I wouldn't be so harsh if she were so [[insert perceived failing]]. What a bunch of crap that is. Yes, I may run to the fridge after we fight, but that's still MY decision.

Ultimately, that may be the answer. Perhaps we have to focus on us within the process and "ignore" what's around us. It seems easy to allow excuses to creep in. Perhaps if we can just remain focused on our part, the others will come around. That's sort of the topic of my last post. Instead of going out and spending, just because Angie did and I feel "entitled", I can choose to break the cycle.

The cycle of sabotaging my success and ultimately my happiness.

SL

Never Leave Your Controversy Behind

Angie and I watched the movie Fireproof last night. The movie tells the story of how a man (who happens to be a firefighter) saves his failing marriage by taking "the Love Dare". The Love Dare is a book of 40 daily devotionals and actions that are meant to teach him and his spouse what it is to love unconditionally - the same unconditional love that God has for us.

We very much enjoyed the movie. Yes, the acting is pretty bad and the "cheese" factor is on the high end, but the message is outstanding - and real. Any married couple can relate. We are all, to some degree, selfish and for those of us that are married for any amount of time, our marriages need work. When you bring two broken people together into a marriage, you invariably get a broken marriage. The movie's message - one in which I could always stand to hear, is that we need to give to our spouse to get. If we want our spouse to love us, we need to love them - unconditionally and without the expectations of reciprocity.

What I personally found compelling about the movie is the reactions of the couple during the 40-day challenge. At day four, the husband thinks about quitting because his wife isn't responding. That would be me. I'd be like, "I've broken my ass for four days and it hasn't meant a thing..." I appreciate the movie for going over the top in this respect. At day 18 he makes a candle light dinner. His wife walks away. Another day he leaves a love note and flowers. Her response - divorce papers. As I watched, I came to understand that the movie HAD to represent the results like this...because it would be exactly the same way. He tries, she doesn't respond, we wants to quit. Why? Because his actions are still for all the wrong reasons. It isn't until he understands that his relationship with his wife is exactly like his relationship with God (albeit with roles reversed) can he understand what it is to love. God loves him, but he continually rejects God. In this lesson, he learns what it is to unconditionally love. He now can unconditionally love his wife. Then, she begins to respond.

This message is biblical and is the same message that we've seen elsewhere, either through teaching at church or through other couple's studies that we've done. However, dramatizing this process is very effective in making it real to us. Being preached to in a sermon is one thing. Seeing it happen in a movie is another. This is what makes this ministry so powerful. The movie was made by Sherwood Baptist Church in Georgia. They also made "Facing the Giants". My understanding is that the cast (except for Kirk Cameron) are all church members. It's great to have a resource that makes Christian based movies. What I have a hard time understanding is the venom with which some have responded to this movie. The following is but one of the many negative reviews of the movie from Blockbuster.com.

Could have been a good movie. If i want to be preached to I will go to church. I think they should put an evangelical warning on the cover of this movie.

I'm not sure I understand that. Should film makers put warnings on movies that contain anti-Christian sentiment? Isn't watching a movie a purely voluntary act? Couldn't the reviewer have turned off the movie if he didn't approve of the Christian message? Since when do we have to project our children from Christian and biblical concepts?

I particularly seethe at the reviews that treat faith as some kind of crutch. Not because I don't understand that position, but because I do. Although I have always been raised a Christian, I have not always lived a Christian life. In fact, I believed as many of "crutch" commenters believed, that having faith was a crutch. In my BC (Before Christ) life, I thought the religious a little wacky and a little weak. However, I no longer hold that belief, not because I have become one of them, but because I have learned the truth that they knew. There is only one truth and the realization of that isn't a crutch, or being judgemental or elitist. It just IS.

And, through time, I've come to experience the truths of the bible AND of the movie Fireproof. The more I make it about Angie, the more I get in return. It's one of those miracle contradictions of life. You have to give to get. However, the key is to give with no expectations of getting. That's the hard part.

Its changed my life and its changed my marriage. If you allow it, it can change yours, too.

SL

Too Good To Be True

Moving into the manor this week is R. Allen Stanford. He'll be bunking with the manor's first resident, Bernie Madoff. They have a lot in common and should get along just fine.

Like Madoff, Stanford is accused of bilking investors of billions. His toll is expected to be around $8 billion dollars affecting as many as 50,000 investors. His modus operandi was promising investors impossible returns. It would seem that there really are things that are too good to be true.

What is interesting about the Stanford case is that there may be a lot of collateral damage. Not from the investor list, but with whom Stanford could call associates. Apparently, Mr. Stanford has some contacts with Washington and it will be interesting to see who gets some heat for any possible association. Already mentioned are several campaigns, including Obama's presidential campaign, John McCain and fellow Texan John Cornyn, among others. I wonder if any of them are potential future residents. Stewart Parnell needs a roommate.

Also under scrutiny is the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) who apparently allowed Stanford to continue to operate even though he was high on their list to scrutinize and that they (the SEC) only stepped up an investigation after the Madoff story came to light.

The FBI finally found Stanford serving him court papers that declare the SEC suing him for perpetrating a "massive and continuing fraud". Why the 239th richest American (worth $2.2B), who is a distant relative to the founder of Stanford University, would defraud that many people is beyond me, but he still sounds like the perfect new resident to our little hall of shame.

SL

You're a Dick, Ted

I apologize for the crass phrase, but that's how it sounds. It's pretty much become a joke between Angie and I. She says it, then I complain that my name isn't Ted.

What's she is really saying is: "You're addicted". The object of my supposed addiction is Facebook.

I am neither addicted to Facebook nor I am that other word (mostly). However, in the three days that I been connecting, it has been a very interesting experience.

I've garnered 43 friends without trying. I think Angie sent out a notice that I joined, so I got a lot of invites from that. Also, it would seem that my entire extended family from NY is on, so many of my friends are actually blood relatives.

I've chatted or communicated with four family members that I haven't seen in at least 15 years. That has been awesome. I can't believe how much every has grown. Some of us even got old.

A "technologically challenged" aunt joined and a "manly" cousin joined. She's lost and he's convinced that the only fun to be had it to make fun of family. I can understand her issue (I'm still a little lost on how to do things) and it's been fun abusing family (AND BEING MADE FUN OF).

I've joined an old neighborhood group and have found many long lost friends and acquaintances from the 'hood. My sister and others have been posting old pictures from the first days of school to school closings to parties. Neighborhoods were different those days. We played from sun-up to sun-down. We never checked in and our parents never worried. They knew that most of the other parents in the neighborhood were watching out for us, too. Everyone knew each other and there were always ample friends of similar ages to play with. Heck, the day started "calling for someone" and ended at dark. Now, Cassie doesn't walk two houses up the block without an escort.

When I get a chance, I will start putting an effort into reconnecting with more old friends and family. I'll also start reinforcing newer relationships.

It's funny. One of the guys from the neighborhood commented on how he's come to realize that relationships get to the heart of what's important. I'm coming to understand how correct he is. It's typically not what I've been good at, nor has it been something that I've focused on, but I see that changing. Doesn't the bible command us (as the most important commandments) to love God above all else, and others as ourselves?

I still don't get a lot of the stuff going on and I have no clue how to "tag" someone in a photo...but maybe I'm less addicted and more interested in using Facebook as a tool to live out the second part of that commandment.

SL

Saving Face(book)

I swore I'd never do it. I've been on Angie's and I've been completely lost.

The truth of the matter is that I don't get it.

However, I've succumbed. I joined Facebook.

Why the change of heart? I was messing around with Angie's the other night. I honestly still don't get it. However, I was linking through family and ended up at my sister's page. I looked through her friends and saw cousins that I haven't seen or spoken to in years. Not just a couple of years, but many years. I saw that one particular cousin commented about my picture. I saw young cousins that I last saw when they were babies (they are high schoolers now). When I saw them, I really started feeling like I was missing an opportunity...a chance to reconnect with family that I've allowed to fall out of touch.

I decided that now that I am older and wiser that I'd use the networking site as an opportunity to reconnect with these people. Who knows, maybe even a family reunion with long lost family is in our future.

I'd joined today and I've been poked (not sure what to do with this), befriended, and even asked to confirm that Angie is my spouse. I've been called "a hottie" and thanked for taking care of some basic car repairs.

I've also looked up some high school friends and a couple of other people that were important to me at some point in my life. I look forward to reconnecting with them. I may never get to 575 friends like my buddy Bob, and I will never maintain my page like I will maintain this blog, but I will use it as a tool to connect with others.

Who knows, in the process I may even find myself.

SL

Miscreant Manor MonTuesday

It took all of five minutes of research to find enough on this despicable human being for a post.

The short story. He's a scumbag. He ran a peanut company, but couldn't see past his profit to take the appropriate steps to maintain quality standards. Because of this, salmonella found a home in his products. He was informed about it. He couldn't risk his profits so he shipped the product anyway.

His quotes:
"I go thru this about once a week. ... I will hold my breath .......... again,"

"We need to discuss this ... the time lapse, besides the cost is costing us huge $$$$$..."

"Mr. Chairman and members of the committee, on advice of my counsel, I respectfully decline to answer your questions based on the protections afforded me under the U.S. Constitution."

The toll:

9 dead
600 sick
and, last week, his company filed for bankruptcy protection.

I can't wait until I can add "indictment" to the list.

He's a perfect find to add to the list of manor residents.

Here are some dishonorable mentions that just didn't have enough scumbaggery to get into the house:

1) Luzerne Co., PA judges Mark Ciaverella and Michael Conahan
2) NY Yankee Alex Rodriguez
3) Bradenton, FL Dad Of The Year Mark A. Belanger

SL

Goodness

The same day I posted my Miscreant Manor introduction, I received an e-mail with a link to the story of Patrick Henry Hughes. He, and his father, are an example of all that is good in us. Enjoy.



SL

A Valentine of Nothing?

I am a very lucky guy. There are so many things to love about my wife Angie that I could fill a daily blog about them. However, this Valentine's Day, I'll talk about one of the things - the fact that Valentine's Day isn't a big deal to her.

Does she need flowers today? No.

Does she need a present today? No.

Is the day a loss if nothing sparkly comes her way? Nope.

Admittedly, she likes those things, but they aren't important to her and she isn't disappointed if she doesn't get them.

She would much rather have a pleasant day where he kids and husband to something nice for her and get along than have selfishness and a new necklace or bouquet of flowers.

Her love language is all about service.

I love that about her. I love the fact that she doesn't have a materialistic bone in her body. I love the fact that she'd rather spend a nice day with her family than get presents. I love the fact that I know these things about her and meet those needs.

She got a card this morning and that made her feel good. However, she'll feel much better about the fact that I finally spent some time getting her cross wall up. And, she already feels great about the fact we told the kids we were gonna get them a Wii because our tax preparer gave us good news. And, when momma is happy we are all happy.

I gotta go - I got some service to do.

SL

Miscreant Manor

A few posts ago, I blogged about Bernie Madoff. I referred to him as a scumbag and I stand by that post. Since that post I've seen a lot of wacky stuff in the news. These wacky news stories range from people succumbing to unbridled greed to just plain lack of common sense.

Now, the truth of the matter is that I don't judge these people because they gave into temptation. I do that daily. I give into my anger and lash out at Angie or I give into my selfishness and act accordingly. I completely understand that we are human, flawed and sinful. I am not above that.

However, there really must be a special place in hell reserved for those that are just plain depraved. Madoff may be one of them. There is such a huge difference from defrauding a couple of wealthy investors of a couple of millions of dollars to ripping off a ton of people of $50 BILLION.

The question to me is one of scale. To me, there is a huge difference between a CEO of a company “cooking the books” to make his personal stock portfolio more valuable and Stewart Parnell. If you don't know who Stewart Parnell is, you will. He will be the focus of my first “Miscreant Manor” post. I will summarize the account of Mr. Parnell and how his greed has been responsible for the nine recent salmonella deaths in the United States. With that post, Mr. Parnell will join Bernie as the first two residents of the manor.

I feel compelled to spew off on these scumbags, er...miscreants. Whatever you want to call them, they are examples of what is worst in humanity. I have such a visceral (non-Christian) response to these people as I read their stories. I hope my posts help get you angry, too - angry at the unbridled greed that seems to be so pervasive in our society. I am all for corporations being successful and earning profits. I should be, I work for one. However, I truly believe that these corporations have a responsibility to the community and profits, although a primary objective should never be realized at the detriment of mankind.

Therefore, I present to you, “Miscreant Manor Mondays” (selected as the name of these entries instead of “Scumbag of the Week.”). Bernie Madoff already lives there and we’ll add a new occupant every week as warrants.

These people and their stories should get you really pissed off.

SL

Transmission Received

Hello Earth. We are receiving your transmission.

Unfortunately, Angie’s 2002 Dodge Caravan is receiving a transmission, as well.

Angie’s tranny has been slipping for a while now. When we added fluid, it rode better, but never for long. Hard “clunks” when putting the van into drive followed by “stuttering” on the up shifts and a hard “bang” on the shift into first were real signs that we had a real problem.

She drove several hours to Granbury this weekend. At the end of the trip she complained that the van was really driving crappy. We used her car to get to church on Sunday and when I drove it I knew we had a problem.

We took it to the transmission repair shop as soon as we could.

The 10 minute test drive was enough to experience all of the problems. For a small amount ($360.00), they took apart the tranny and inspected it. It was interesting to hear the owner/operator tell me that he was legally obligated to inform me that this $360 did NOT include reassembling and putting the tranny back into the van. In fact, he was clear, that even if he gave me an estimate for $1M, and I told him to “go screw yourself”, that he would box the transmission and that would be the extent of his obligation.

After about 24 hours, the owner/operator called. A transmission overhaul with a 3-year/36,000 mile warranty on the entire transmission would cost us over $2,600. A $2,200 option which just replaced worn out parts had a 12-month/12,000 mile warranty.

Since we expect to have Angie’s van for several more years (my cousin, the Yankee, Jon-Paul, inspected the van when he was down here and said it still had several good years left in it). We decided on the longer warranty and more thorough service.

Hopefully, that this service will hold us off until we trade the van in for a new car for Angie. That's the transmitted message that I want to receive.

So, is this experience normal? Did I get screwed?

SL

Hair Raising Sound

There are few things on earth that cause me to get spooked. When I say spooked, I mean the kind of eerie feeling that makes your stomach queasy and causes a cold chill to go down your spine that ends up raising the hair on the back of your neck.

I’ve felt that way three times in the nine plus years since I moved to Texas.

It’s the feeling you get when you hear a tornado siren.

I’ve written many times about the awesome springtime storms that we experience in North Texas. I’m still unaccustomed to the rage within the thunderstorms that we get. In New York we’d get thunderstorms and some lightening, but nothing like what we get down here. The storms are awesome, and I often sit by the window just to watch the light show.

However, on occasion, the storms are so fierce that they require a bit more diligence. Last night was one such storm. Angie and I were watching a movie in my office when the storm hit. Right outside the window we experienced heavy rain, 70 MPH wind gusts, thunder and lightening. The kids were in bed and Angie commented how they were likely to join us. We turned off the movie and turned on the local news. I put some lights on and got a flashlight in preparation.

The kids didn’t join us – they are hardened to the storms. Dylan complains that he cannot sleep due to the noise on his window, but none of the kids are particularly scared by thunder and lightening – unlike me.

Angie and I noticed that the news wasn’t reporting a whole lot in the way of tornado warnings and the radar wasn’t showing rotations, so we decided to go back to our movie.

Then, things changed and changed fast.

I heard them first. I turned to Angie, “You hear that?” She said “no”.

I muted the movie. The sounds of distant tornado horns could be clearly heard. They sounded like they were from another town, and not the sirens in Rowlett. There are two sirens relatively close to the house and they would have sounded much louder. However, they were loud enough. Marissa joined us first, followed by Dylan. They were scared, but (truth be told) not nearly as scared as me. In fact, my fear has become a little bit of a joke with the kids. Although I try to keep a tough exterior so they aren’t scared, tornados are terrifying to me. Give me a hurricane any day because that is what I grew up on – and they were typically infrequent and weak by the time they got to Long Island. Tornados are killers and I have never been sensitized to them.

We watched the local news and they started to report about the rotations in the front end of the storm. By the time that they formed, they were past us. Those were the horns we heard. I’m still not sure if anything every touched down or not, but I tend to think not since the news isn’t reporting anything except for wind damage. Unfortunately, that cannot be said for Oklahoma, as it appears they had three tornados touch down with this storm, one of which killed several people.

I remember very clearly the other tornado sirens that I’ve heard. I blogged about the previous one from April 2007. The other was from several years before that as a new Texan. I was working late one evening and heard a funny sound. I didn’t know what the wail of the siren was, but I did get that creepy feeling. Only later did I learn that there had been a tornado.

You know, now that I think about it, it’s the same feeling I got when I experienced a small earthquake in Southern California. Mother nature can be awesome!

I sure do miss those hurricanes.

SL

Reply From The Troops

There are many things I've never done. I've never picked up a rattlesnake. I've never eaten haggis. I've never ridden a bull. Up until yesterday, I never received a letter from Afghanistan.

The 715th Military Police Company, currently deployed at Bagram Airbase in Afghanistan, replied to the letter and candy that the girl scout troop sent them in November.

It was so exciting to open the letter. Those boys and girls are putting themselves in harms way for us, and for them to take a moment and acknowledge our support of them...well, it was pretty special for me.

Cassie read the letter to me and I welled up. Heck, I'm welling up typing this. She didn't get it. To her, it was a piece of paper with some cool pictures of the troops and the beautiful snow covered mountains. To me, it contains pictures of sons, brothers and fathers. I'm so proud of our troops and cannot begin to fathom their sacrifice for us. I hate being away from Angie and the kids during a three day business trip. I could never imagine the heartbreak of being away for a year. Not to mention that every day their lives are in danger as they carry out the orders of our commander in chief. I don't care if you agree with them being over there, or not. You gotta appreciate what they do.

I did a google search for "715 mpc" and learned that the 715th Military Police Company is part of the Florida Army National Guard based in Melbourne, Florida. They deployed on June 24, 2008 after a "short fuse" deployment (three months notice instead of the normal year notice). Knowing where their from makes it feel like I know them a little better.

And, I'll remember that as I pray for their safety.

SL

Let's Get Physical

I just got back from my semi-regular annual physical exam. I typically get to them every other year or so. I figured with 40 approaching, I'd get checked out. I did it a couple of months BEFORE my 40th so I could argue against the 40-year old baseline exam...eg, PROSTATE check.

My argument worked. I've postponed that unpleasantness for another year, or two.

However, after a substantial wait to see the doctor, we talked about my weight. Every issue that has him concerned stems from my weight. It was interesting to see the timeline. Over the course of the last several years, I've had two significant periods of weight gain. The first in 2005 that didn't coincide with any particular event, but did relate to some physical complaints.

The second was May of 2007 when I quit smoking. Since then, I've packed on nearly 40 pounds to my already too large frame.

I've posted and shared about my weight on the blog many times. Clearly, public ridicule has not helped motivate me. Nor has back trouble and other physical issues. Perhaps financial impact will make the difference.

As part of the Financial Learning Experience, we learned that we don't have nearly enough life insurance. Since I pride myself on my ability to provide for my family, it only makes sense that we take the appropriate steps to ensure that they are taken care of in the event of my death. However, as we start in inquire about quotes, it is clear that my weight is driving up premiums. Perhaps if I can lose a bunch, I will also lose some of the premium amount.

It sure wouldn't hurt my blood pressure or cholesterol, either.

SL

I Was Broke...

...and I'm still broke, but at least NOW we have a plan.

Our church ended our annual money series today. Oh boy, I can hear the reactions now. I totally understand those reactions, too. Everyone has heard the horror stories of churches or ministers and how they take advantage of the well meaning. I've heard those stories, too. Heck, I grew up Catholic and had a very weird understanding of giving, tithing and the Church.

When we started attending Springcreek years ago, we did not give. Springcreek did not ask us to give nor did the plate get passed during service (Instead, there are offering boxes at the exits for those that choose to give).

However, as we became at home at the church and as we became part of the church community, we decided that we wanted to give. We wanted to support the church that was teaching us and that had become home. We were motivated by the desire to support our church so others could find what we found. At first, we gave sporadically. Sporadic giving became regular "first-fruits" giving. Now, our budget and our plan includes automated giving, as well as, regular sacrificial giving. I mention this not for a pat on the back, but to frame the rest of this post.

Angie and I have come to believe that we have been incredibly blessed and that our blessing has a purpose. To share more and more. We try to live our financial lives according to biblical principals, particularly the "Parable of the Talents (MT 25:14-30)." Ultimately, our purpose is to do His will and to help others and thus, His kingdom.

However, Angie and I are not perfect. We have been incredibly blessed, but have allowed ourselves to get into some credit card debt. We honor our gifts, and give regularly, but often purchase on credit - robbing us of freedom and of money. Starting today, that will end. We attended Joseph Sangl's "Financial Learning Experience" at church today...it was the PERFECT ending to the six part series on money and biblical principles we just concluded at church. Based on his book, "I Was Broke, Now I'm Not", Joe discussed how to make money work for us, how to get out of debt, and other financial principles. Based on this conference, Angie and I are going to alter our budget with the plan to get out from under our credit card AND to start having our money earn more for us.

Why? We answered that question at the beginning of the conference. Our answers we to eliminate worry and conflict, to give the kids the best of everything, to have freedom, to retire earlier, and most importantly, to give more away.

We aren't real fans of the whole "gnashing of teeth" thing.

SL

Super Entertaining Weekend

No, the weekend wasn't super entertaining. Actually, it was...but that's not what I meant.

What I mean is that Angie and I entertained this weekend and it was awesome. In fact, late last night while we were cleaning up, she said to me, "We've entertained more this weekend than in the past several months combined."

I love hosting in my home. It's one of the reasons why I feel like we have a larger home - so we can have people over comfortably. We've done some big ones in the past. We had 40 plus for a July 4th party. We've done New Years. We've done holiday get togethers, etc.

This weekend started with Cassie's birthday (see previous post).

On Saturday, all we had to do is straighten up from the party and we were ready for our couple group. We belong to a group of like minded Christian couples where we ditch the kids for a couple of hours every other Saturday night for some food and fellowship. Typically we do a bible study as part of the meeting. This turn was at our house. Angie prepared a wonderful dinner of spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread. She made a very nice salad and a refreshing dessert. We sat around the table and ate and joked and talked. It was so much fun that we never moved to the living room to watch the video for our study. We just continued laughing and eating that we never did do the study. It was the best group session we've ever had.

Sunday continued the entertaining. Since church cancelled the annual Superbowl party, Angie and I decided to have one at the house. What the heck, the house was already cleaned, right? All we did was do some more vacuuming and we were good to go. We had a couple of friends and their kids over. We never saw that kids as they played outside and upstairs. Us adults, we watched a great game and enjoyed the commercials. The Doritos one with the snow globe was really funny and the hulu.com commercial was good, too, but the one that elicited the biggest reaction (especially from the guys) was - no - not godaddy, but the G.I Joe movie commercial.



Since the game went to the wire, the kids stayed up late - but everyone had a great time consumer good food and enjoying each other's company.

Angie and I cleaned up, unwound and went to bed exhausted - but very content.

She even said she appreciated all the help that I had given her all weekend...the best compliment of all.

SL

My British Accent Stinks

subtitled, "You're Going to Hollywood!"

Cassie had her 7th birthday party tonight. For the first time since her third birthday, she decided not to have her birthday party at the Little Gym. I guess it was only a matter of time. It seems that when she had her second party in a row there, she became a bit of a celebrity. When she had her third in a row, she was given the key to the restoom.

She told us that she didn't want her party there this year. Instead, she informed us that she'd like a friend party...an American Idol party at the house.

Her idea was to perform on stage with mom and I acting as the judges. Everyone would get the friendly Simon and the coherent Paula routine, and everyone would get to go to Hollywood. It sounded like a fun idea, it fit within our finances and Angie was willing to do much of the planning - so we said yes.

Cassie invited friends from school and a friend from the neighborhood. In all, seven children attended. Add Cassie, and we had eight kids running around and screaching all over the house.

As they arrived, they were given contestent numbers and practiced their singing with some Kareoke. Then, each child picked a song and performed it on the stage we set up. Dylan decided to be Randy "Dog" and we all gave the kids positive reviews. Each time we did, the screamed in that way that only first grade girls can.

I took pictures of the kids as they performed and we printed them out as part of their loot bags. Angie made English Muffin Pizzas and had several games ready for the kids. The ate jello and searched for bananas in whipped cream - all with no hands. That was funny as faces got real messy. The kids did presents and cake.

They finished with more singing on the stage.

It was a great time. Angie did a fabulous job keeping the kids busy for three hours and the all had a ball.

I'm just glad they are gone even though I can still hear the screaming.

SL

(n)ice

The kids are sleeping, dreaming of God knows what...

...when they wake up they'll realize that one dream has come true. The ice/winter storm that hit last night was bad enough to close school.

It's currently 23^o in Rowlett. That's pretty cold for Texas. Add the freezing rain and sleet from last night and the streets, lawn, driveway, cars, house, everything are covered with a nice layer of ice.

There is just no way to drive on this stuff. It's worse than if we got two feet of snow. At least with snow, there is something for your tires to grip. With this ice, there's nothing. The cities here put down sand, but that just makes sure your car gets dirty before sliding into some immovable object.

Since I'm in Texas, I've always had the option to work from home (either at my discretion or full-time). Ice storms were always a good reason to do so, and I would, so I've never really had to drive in this stuff too much. Except once. We were coming home from Amarillo (where some of Angie's family is). We hit an ice storm and what should have taken at hour, maybe an hour and a half drive from Denton to Dallas took seven. It was a white knuckle drive in which I asked the kids to be silent so I could concentrate on the road. We had my Cherokee those days, and even in 4-wheel drive low gear, we couldn't go faster than a slow crawl the whole way. We past cars spinning left and spinning right. I still don't know how we ever got over the interchange bridge that connected 35E South and 635 East, but we did.

It would be nice to be a kid today, where driving isn't a concern - and where staving off boredom is.

SL

Food Snob

Angie and I had a date night on Saturday. Date nights for us are few and far between. They typically present a dilemma for us. The decision to go out to eat isn't the dilemma - where to eat is.

Since we don't go out often, we typically go to our standards and favorites. Usually, I will allow Angie the honor and we'll do the Blue Goose Cantina so she can get a fix of her favorite enchiladas. I'll get fajitas and we'll both enjoy a margarita or beer.

We're usually both stuffed and contented. Add a movie rental and some cuddling while we watch said rental and we're happy.

However, once in a while we'll stray off the path. In the past, our straying has led to Japanese buffet (not so good), and Wiener Schnitzel and Strudel at a local German restaurant (VERY good). Sometimes we'll sample a local new restaurant.

The one thing on which I feel strongly is that there is a real dearth of good Italian in our area. Angie likes Campisi's and Taste of Italy, but in my opinion, they both suck. In fact, not only is the Italian not good here, but the pizza sucks pretty bad, too. I'm from a part of the country where Pizza is made by guys with first names like Vito, Sal, or Guido. Last names vary, but typically end with a vowel.

I'm not saying there aren't Italian guys here in Texas. I am saying that there isn't good Italian food here. Angie thinks I've become a bit of a snob. Perhaps she's right. All I know is that I know what I like and I know what is good. For example, we tried a brand new Italian restaurant last night. We had salads, an appetizer of fried meat ravioli, and I had veal parmigiana for my entree. Angie had a pasta combo which included meat ravioli, manicotti, and lasagna. Add some Italian bread and a couple glasses of wine and the meal was complete.

The first thing we noticed was that the sauce was served MOLTEN hot. Sauce shouldn't remove layers of epidermal cells - it should be simmered over low hear for long periods of time.

Second, we noticed that we couldn't actually SEE our food. The put so much of the molten liquid on our plates, we couldn't see what we were eating. This is a telltale sign to me that the food isn't good. Truth be told, the food was ok. I found my veal thick and bland. The sauce was ok, but it didn't seem to have been slowed cooked. Again, it was bland.

In fact, other than for the wine, the food just didn't have a lot of taste to me. Some of this I blame on my snobbery. I spent the first 30 years of my life living in a place that is known for its municipal water. I truly believe that the water is so good in NY because it has a high mineral content, particularly chlorine. This mineral content comes out when you cook with it. I am still looking for bread down here that tastes anything like the bread you can get in NY. Same holds true for the marinara sauce. Combine both into a single food (eg., pizza) and now you know why I can't enjoy the pizza down here. Bagels, Italian breads, etc. These are the things that I jones for when I go back north.

I’ve heard rumors of an Italian place in Plano that had their sauce delivered from Jersey. I think there are some guys from Brooklyn in Quorum Circle in Addison. These are unsubstantiated rumors at this point.

Until I get to check them out, we’ll have to continue to consider me a snob.

SL

Seven

Angie and I were discussing the passing of time today...she marked Cassie's birthday with the incredulous, "I can't believe she's seven!"

I came from the other direction.

You see, in addition to marking time with my daughter in the normal way, I also look at it differently. I mark time with Cassie as relative to five and a half years.

That's because I was five and a half when my own father died.

I remember vividly when Cassie was five a half. Every day since then is a day more that she has with me than I got with my father. What's worse is that I also look at that from my perspective - I couldn't imagine only having five and a half years with her.

I can't imagine not seeing her become so smart. Her intelligence makes me feel stupid some times. She reads very well, but more importantly she can hold a conversation. Talking to her is pleasurable as she is able to communicate what she is thinking and she is capable of logical thought and abstract thinking. I can't imagine not seeing that.

I can't imagine not seeing her grow and learn more. I can't imagine not seeing her love and hurt, and running to her daddy when she needs a hug.

I hope to get many more birthdays, but I think I may start enjoying more each of the days in between.

The regret that my father never got to know her, or me, will never go away...but at least I can ensure that Cassie and I don't suffer the same.

SL

Uniquely American

I don't know if the statement is true, but the news commentator called it, "Uniquely American".

The 'it' he was referring to was the transfer of power for the president. He said it when the Bushes and the Obamas stood on the north portico of the white house. From all reports, the Bush team has been working with the Obama team to make the transfer seamless and orderly.

The commentator went on to discuss how the way the United States transfers between outgoing and incoming administrations is not typical. It is an orderly and cooperative process involving no bloodshed. I figure that more and more countries are fortunate to have democratic elections, but we've been so blessed to be doing it for more that two hundred years.

It was said that we transfer power the way we do because we do not honor or follow single families, but an idea - and idea that is made real through our Constitution. Clearly, the Constitution of the United States is a remarkable document, written by remarkable men. Men that seemingly put what they thought as proper and right ahead of personal fortune and well being.

As I see the reaction of the people at the inauguration, I can only believe that this is their great hope - that the incoming administration will put the needs and the well being of the people, and the country, ahead of their own.

I don't know if we'll have politicians like that ever again...but as I ended my last post, the hope is certainly present (and welcome) today. It's the same hope that, as a country, we've held 43 times previously. However, this one is clearly different. As our first black president is sworn in, this country has undeniably taken a step forward. A step that says we are more united today than we were yesterday. A step that recognizes humanity, regardless of race.

Although I abhor the politics of the man, I am so proud that he is our president. Although I believe that the liberalism of an unbridled Congress run by Succubus Pelosi will spend us to oblivion, I also realize the amazing historic situation that President Obama represents.

I can only say that today, I am uniquely proud to be an American.

SL

Separated at Birth...

...Bernard Madoff and Sesame Street's Count Dracula.

Bernie Madoff may or may not be news in your household, but he may go down in history as one of finances biggest scumbags - in a year of monumental scumbags.

He is responsible for perhaps the largest Ponzi scheme ever committed. That's not newsworthy. What is notable, is that we all now know what a "Ponzi scheme" is...

A Ponzi scheme is anytime a supposed investment pays earlier investors with newer investors money. Ultimately, there is no profit being made by the scheme. The scheme is inherently unstable and guaranteed to fail. The scheme is named after Charles Ponzi who perpetrated the first notable one in 1920. To me, it is a perfect example of the greed that seems to have taken over wall street and big business. How may billions do you need? Wouldn't a single billion suffice? For good 'ole Bernie, it seems that $50B wasn't quite enough.

So, as authorities dig into this some more, the victims are lining up. One has committed suicide after learning of $1.5B in losses. My beloved Mets are involved, as the owner (Fred Wilpon) may have had as much as $300M invested. Countless others will surface.

As I type this, the inauguration is on television. I am feeling an overwhelming sense of pride that this country has elected a black man as president. My cynical side didn't believe it could happen. I feel the hope and the energy that his presidency is causing. I think his politics are crap, but it is about hope right now.

And frankly, with bailouts surrounding us, necessitated by unbridled greed and general "scumbaggery", a little hope is a good thing right now.

Just watch out for the individuals pictured above...they'll both suck you dry.

SL

UnAmerican Idolatry

No sooner than I started typing this, Cassie and Marissa started fighting.

Prior to the pugilism within our household, we were having a family moment as we are all sitting on the couch watching the premier of season 8 of American Idol. We just watched the gollum lookalike butcher a song of the new judge. Then came up the walrus boy.

The kids love this show. If I want to connect with them, I need to watch it too. It gives us common ground with which to talk. I couldn't care less about this show, the contestents, or the results - but Dylan, Marissa, Cassie, and even Angie do. Therefore, so do I.

I can't remember the last time where everyone was interested in doing something together. Perhaps when we played "Scene It - Movie Edition" with the yankees in town.

It's kind of nice, but very hard to accomplish. Things that the younger girls like typically don't interest Dylan. Things he likes may not be interesting to the girls. We are in constant search of other activities that fall under the "everyone likes" category.

Got any suggestions?

SL

Cookie Puss

Usually, I just buy and eat them. This year, I'm selling them. Actually, Cassie is since she is the second year Daisy Scout for troop 8459, Rowlett, Texas. Them being the perennial favorite - GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.

Since I don't really have an office to go into, I'm selling to my Internet family and friends. I'm not allowed to sell via the Internet, so send me an e-mail or give me a ring and I will hook you up.

Click HERE to see the menu

I'll ship anywhere (on your dime), or you can donate the amount to the troop or the cookies to our soldiers (my dime). Or, you can do what AMA does...tell everyone to pick out what they like so we can keep them local.

I vote that option. I'll take a box of Samoas.

And, thanks for your support. Our troop is almost fully funded by cookie sales.

SL

Packed With Protein

The other night Angie made a fine dinner consisting of protein provided entirely by my own hand.

We had fried Alaskan halibut and we had pan fried ham and deer steaks.

It was delicious and even the kids seemed to enjoy the meal. Marissa, not caring for the mammalian flesh, enjoyed the fish. Dylan and I enjoyed the hog. Cassie, Dylan and I enjoyed the deer. Angie tried the deer, but seemed to enjoy the halibut much more.

We used a recipe out of Ted Nugent's Kill It and Grill It (given to me for Christmas by my sister) which basically fried the meat in clarified butter. It was good, but dry. It seems that we continue to over-cook the meat in out effort to ensure that it is completely cooked.

Therefore, I am calling on you for help. Anyone have a recipe for wild game steaks? I'm saving the backstraps until I know we are gonna make them perfect.

SL

N.B. - When Cassie shared the fact that she ate, and enjoyed, the deer with AMA, I was challenged to provide everything for the meal. This would entail starting a garden in the backyard. We have a little space not getting used and we've thought about gardening back there. I think this spring, we'll actually do it. I'm sure that will provide additional fodder for this blog.

Help a Virtual Brother

I am consistently entertained by the writing talent of Travis Erwin. His blog is a regular stop for me...he's talented, entertaining, extremely funny - and although I only know him through his blog and his comments on mine, he seems like a decent human being.

Why he follows my stupid site is beyond me.

If you follow my site, you've probably checked his out. Assuming that is true, than you probably have become a regular of his. Then, you might already know that his recent post on his blog was that his house burnt to the ground.

It's amazing to see the effect that something bad happening to "an Internet bud" can have. There have been over 125 comments from well wishers on his site. I am sure that many are like me - pleased that everyone is ok and morbidly curious as to what happened. Sort of like his multipart posts about when his infant son was sick and his subsequent breakdown. We were all hitting his site many times per day waiting for the next installment and weeping when it came.

I bet many are doing that waiting for an update.

In the meantime, some of his extended Internet family started a blog for donating to a fund to help Travis out. The price of a brick or two is insignificant to the value of his regular entertainment that he provides.

And, more importantly, to the help of a fellow human being and his family.

Here's the site, if you haven't already clicked the link above:

http://habitatfortravis.blogspot.com/

SL

Yankees Invade Texas

I've been in Texas for eight years. In fact, I flew here with a one way ticket on December 28th, 1999 - just in time to celebrate the millenium New Years with Angie. We watched New Years ring in around the world.

It took my family some time to come down to visit. I know the trip isn't cheap, but it seemed like a long time to have visitors. My AMA came down first. She's been here the most. My nephew and sister received tickets as presents. My brother won his ticket. My sister has been down again since. My nephew has made stops and his odd jobs took him to Texas.

Several years ago, I started giving my cousin JP and his wife Jill the business for not having come. Their twin girls, Natalie and Cecile, play "Going to Texas" in their dining room. They've learned the words to "Deep in the Heart of Texas", but they've never been.

Until now.

The funny talking yankee foursome arrived last Monday.

MON: We didn't do much. We visited and relaxed. We toured the Rowlett police station as part of a girl scout meeting, and had the awesomest Tex-Mex in North Texas, the Blue Goose Cantina.

TUES: We went to the Dallas Arboretum and scavenger hunted animal statues and plantlife. The yanks experienced Sonic Drive In for snack and Dickie's Barbeque that evening for dinner.

WED: We relaxed for new years eve, attending the Lone Star Circus. It was surprisingly awesome. That evening we grilled steaks and halibut.

THURS: The adult yankees went to the Garland Shooting Range for some pistol and rifle shooting. The youngins got their nails done. Breakfast for dinner finished the evening.

FRI: Cowtown was calling. We experienced the Fort Worth Stockyards cattle drive and championship rodeo. Riscky's Steakhouse was selected for dinner. Yum.

SAT: We went to the country as the stop on which all New Yorker visitors must participate. We visited Angie's aunt and uncles and cousins around Bonham. We ate, shot clay pidgeons and fished. The kids pet Anibel the cow, the cow that thinks she is a dog.

Yesterday, the yanks had a 6:20am flight home. I'm still tired from the week, but we had a GREAT visit.

I can't wait until another eight years is done, so they can come back.

SL

Back in the Saddle

For the last twelve days, I haven't given too much thought about work. I've checked e-mail and even took care of a customer issue, but not much else. Because of this, I haven't been on my personal computer a lot, either. Add to this the fact that we've had New York family in town for the last week, and I've been busy playing tourist and host instead of blogging. I meant to remedy that today with a summary of my cousins' visit.

That'll have to wait until tomorrow.

Today, regular deer season ended and I spent the last four hours of the season at the lease.

I didn't have many expectations, as I hadn't seen game in over a month. But, I thought I would sit in the popup blind, out of the wind and in a comfy seat, to close out the season. My expectations were so low that I didn't even worry about the fact that I couldn't find my hunting knife. There wasn't going to be anything needing cutting, right?

Wrong!

The first hour and a half were spent more trying to stay awake than anything. In fact, I think I took a little nap. However, I eventually got a second wind, and started actively looking. There have been several times that actively looking (instead of just sitting there hoping something comes out into the open) has paid off. The first was when I saw a doe in the trees. She ended up coming into the feeder and I was in shooting position because I was alert. Had she been a buck, I would have had more venison in the freezer. That was a couple of weeks ago, but the same thing happened today.

I saw a glimmer of movement in the trees. This made me more alert. I saw more movement behind the brush in front of the feeder. It was a deer. I started looking for horns, but the deer never lifted its head to where I could see. Then, it was gone.

However, I kept alert. I saw more movement by the feeder. Except this time, I watched as a hog fed itself. Again, a shot didn't present itself, but I kept watching. It disappeared behind the brush and into the treeline. I kept alert and saw movement in the woods. As I tracked it's movement from left to right, I remained ready with my rifle up. I switched from one window in the blind to another, hoping that the hog would continue.


I was convinced I lost my opportunity when the hog appeared from behind some brush. I placed the cross-hairs behind its ear and fired. The shot was true and the hog dropped. After floundering for a minute or two it was still. I chambered another and kept my rifle on it for another several minutes.

Upon inspection, this hog was much larger than the first. It is perhaps three hundred pounds and not stinky. I called Angie's uncle and cousin as I needed help cleaning the hog (didn't have a knife) and lifting it into the truck.

They came and we took pictures and tried to field dress it. However, the knife they brought wasn't sharp enough to cut the thick tough hide. We called the processor and he told me to bring it over. We could use their knives or someone there would do it.

So, on the last day of deer season I got another hog.

Good thing, too, as we were running low on breakfast sausage.

SL